Then there is the boy you can never stop thinking about. Whenever you see his name, it trips you up. Even if it’s one that belongs to many others, even if he belongs to someone else.
You know he is a symbol of your weakness, your Kryptonite. How he rushes in like wildfire and burns through everything you worked so hard to build since he last left you in ashes."
the worst feeling in the world is to know you were used and lied to by someone you trusted
i didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever
1. I lost your lighter. The one you had since you were in high school. It didn’t work anymore but you took it with you everywhere. I know you wished you could’ve used it to light your cigarettes. Burn yourself alive. I know it kept you safe. I thought you’d be mad but you didn’t mind that it was gone. You don’t seem to have a problem losing things you care about.
2. You used to tell me you could taste stars in my mouth. You haven’t kissed me in days.
3. I played my favorite song for you a few months ago. I got it stuck in your head. You played it on repeat for weeks. I tried to listen to it last night and you told me to shut it off, you were sick of it.
4. I know you’re tired of trying to fix me. I think you’ve realized that there will always be nights when I fall apart. You will always have to come home and find me shaking on the bathroom floor. You will always have to try and save me. I think you finally noticed that the cuts on my wrist never heal.
5. Some nights when I’m so numb I can’t feel the covers around me, I’ll sleep on the floor. I’ve slept on the floor for the last 8 nights. You haven’t mentioned it.
6. You threw away the book I gave you for your birthday because it was damaged.
7. I saw the way you looked at her.
8. You used to make my heart beat faster. Lately, it’s been falling out of my chest. You don’t seem to mind"
Johanna de Silentio (via brokenallucinator)
shout out to all my homies who also deal with their depression by trying to make people laugh a lot, because you think it’s the only way you can make any sort of happiness, that are really fucked up over this. this is hitting way too close to home and i fucking feel you
i hate old crusty ass adults who are like “how can you love someone youve never met or touched” shut up you dont know how to open new tabs in your internet browser